“no—” harry is quik to ut her off, disturbed to even hear those words from her “no i—i wouldn’t be here if i didn’t want to”
and narissa looks at him, really looks, as if she’s trying to figure out if what he’s saying is true and then, finally getting her answer, her shoulders rex and amusement tinges her smile “whatever did my son do to inspire suh loyalty from you?”
“he saved my life you saved my life i…i want to…” save him, too, harry thinks, but that’s not quite right not ompletely return the favour? that’s not it, too not really
but narissa’s looking at him in a way that’s soft, and pitying, as if she uands harry has to look away from that
“you saved us believe me, we would not be here if it weren’t for you the ministry would have had us all in azkaban and then onvely fotten about us”
harry thinks that kingsley wouldn’t have done that, but the wizengamot is another issue
“we made our hoies now we are atoning for them i am not proud of them but given the hane to do it all again, to be given the hoie to save the world or save my family, i…i don’t think i would have been any wiser” this time, she gnes bak at her son, and says, slowly, “it just pains me, when i look bak, to remember him having to make that hoie as well”
the day is peaeful it is bright and quiet and invisible birds hirp softly from different edges of the garden it’s a stark ontrast from the heaviness of their n
narissa sighs, soft and sad “i hope you uand that i’m not trying to justify what we did”
“no, it’s fine,” harry replies, and it is “it’s alright if you want to talk i want to…” he pauses, surprised at the truth in hiswords “i want to listen”
narissa smiles that same amused smile “you are kind remember, harry the world isn’t nie to kind people”
she looks down at her hands on her p, fingers sped as if in prayer “but even with that said, i still want to selfishly request this from you” she raises her head to look at him “please take are of my son”
harry inhales, fttered and sared, but the answer is already on his lips “mrs malfoy—”
“narissa” another smile
harry exhales, slowly he now feels narissa’s same surprise when he asked her to all him harry instead it feels…nie “narissa there’s no need to request i had already pnned on it”
she reahes over, takes his hand in hers, and says, early, “thank you”
it’s te afternoon, and drao hasn’t shown signs of leaving his stupor
harry exuses himself, doesn’t want to impose by staying for dinner when he’s already stayed for lunh by now, he already knows a lot more about drao than drao would probably be omfortable with if he knew he also knows a lot more about narissa, and luius, and it’s dis, to feel this new empathy for this family
he wonders, if it were me, what would i have done?
true to her word, narissa did not make any justifians she told her tale as it is, did not pretend that she is a saint apologized for what she said to him bak then, about her ousin’s death
it still hurts, when harry remembers it, but the apology soothes, even if just a bit she also told him more about sirius, growing up with him, family dinners with him and his brother harry thinks this is another way for her to apologize, and listens to her stories, enraptured, even as his heart still hurts, hurts and ahes so muh for sirius and remus, and oh, god, remus
he tries to hide it, how her words affet him, but he knows it shows on his fae, as pin as day
before he stands up to leave, narissa looks straight at him and asks, “are you alright, harry?”
and harry thinks that she’s not just asking about the now, she’s asking about the yesterday, the tomorrow, and his every day and he doesn’t know why he wants to be ho at this moment, maybe it’s beause narissa has also already bared herself, that it seems… safe to bare himself, too in the end, he allows himself a little bit of hoy
“no not really”
and narissa nods, doesn’t offer meaningless words of omfort, just the uanding of the reality that he is not okay
harry looks at her, too, at the dark spots under her eyes “are you alright?”
narissa gives him a wry smile “no not really”
and all at one, harry an see it, the weight on her shoulders: her husband forever lost in azkaban, leaving her with a multitude of sins, a ruined name, and a tainted home that one hosted a madman her son, the only remaining love of her life, lost within his own mind
narissa sighs, slow and heavy “summer is the host of many oans between families and anizans of power i have tried to be present in eah and every one of them, but it’s been…diffiult sine drao returned”
“oans?” harry asks, thinking of the many fany invitans that he’s thrown in the trash in the past three months “you mean parties?”
“yes,” narissa nods, and then she hukles “some of those you’ve delined to attend, i believe”
harry gives a small, uant grin
narissa ontinues “it is a must that i remain visible to other pureblood families of ourse, the wizarding world knows of what part the malfoy family has pyed in the war, but we annot let that fore us into hiding there are those who are waiting for the opportunity to gain all that we have yet to lose” she gnes at drao wistfully “we may have done bad things, harry, but my son doesn’t deserve to be stripped of everything he ever was and had”
she turns bak to him “it’s been a bit tiring to attend so many funns i dislike leaving drao alone, espeially as he is right now”
harry imagines then of ms, of drao alone in his room, staring at the garden ing and going, but still returning to the same sene where there are flowers in h
