there seemed to be an emphasis on the word everyone, but harry deided it was imagined still, the word held weight
he wasn’t h the life they had allowed him by losing theirs he was wallowing he knew he was wallowing and the worst part of it all was that some part of his mind felt that he ould justify it he knew sirius wouldn’t want him to wallow his parents wouldn’t want him to, nor would fred, nor would tonks or lupin and shouldn’t that be enough? but then again, what would drao malfoy want? would he like to see harry sulking beause of him? perhaps he would smirk and say “ah, potter, i never knew you ared,” in that infuriating but so well pratied patronizing tone of his and then, when harry thought of moving on, he ould only imagine the wounded look on malfoy’s fae, the one that he wanted you to think was pretend but was really more lose to the truth than he ared to admit and in a ft voie, whih was always worse oming from malfoy (his aidity was ), he would say “so soon, potter? careful, or people will think you’re hy about it”
harry was trying he was trying to onvine himself that malfoy wouldn’t are at all and it wasn’t so soon it had nearly been four years everyone, even malfoy’s own mother, seemed to be faring better than harry
“if you ould tell me,” mgonagall interrupted his thought, “before the end of this term, i would reiate it just so i an find a repement should you refuse, or so you ould start your studies should you aept i believe there are still some lesson pns left in the ssroom from preus teahers should you need referene, although i would beg you to refrain from using too many of lokhart’s i know lupin left a few, as well, whih i think i would ene”
harry nodded, feeling a bit overwhelmed
“i was also urged by hagrid to remind you that he would be hy to see you again even offered to bake you a birthday ake this year should you be on the grounds,” mgonagall added, and with this there was a gleam of mishief in her eye
it was half past one in the m harry had fallen into a terrible sleep pattern, spending most of his time alone, whih he found was easier to do when no one else was awake to bother him tonight, he felt like he would rather like to sleep, but it had beome an impossibility hogwarts had always been more of a home to him than any other pe he had lived, even now, having lived at grimmauld pe for several years but the age old phrase “you an never go home again” rang through his head at the prospet of returning and in truth, he ouldn’t he would return this time as a teaher, not a student most of the people that made it home were gone, as well dumbledore would not be there, outside of his portrait her would any of the weasleys, or herne, or—his train of thought sputtered to a stop or drao he was mildly armed that malfoy was inluded in the list of people that made the astle a home, as for most of his life he had regarded him with the same distaste as he had dudley, but even more so, he was startled by the word itself he had thought “or drao” full stop ped he knew formality didn’t matter in his own mind, but he had never been drao to harry harry had never one even thought to refer to him by his first name he wasn’t entirely sure he had ever even said it aloud on its own
“drao,” he whispered, barely a noise, yet all too loud in his quiet house the word felt odd in his mouth his hest tightened inexpliably and he fought the urge to ry he shook his head, trying to lear the feeling
he ame to a dein he ould not be sat at home, alone, whispering a dead boy’s name in his kithen surely, a few months more of this and he would be ompletely mad
he jotted down a note and whistled for bo?tes , who he heard ruffle his feathers in the other room and then ame flying through the doorway
he tied the note to bo?tes’s leg, then stopped to srath the top of his owl’s head
“take this to, mgonagall, would you? maybe take a look in the owlery while you’re there you’ll be spending quite a lot of time there i imagine,” he murmured, slipping bo?tes a treat
maybe it was true maybe he ould never go home, but hell, if he wasn’t going to try
chapter 3
“did i tell you mr potter will be returning to hogwarts?” mgonagall asked asually, sipping her tea at her desk
drao hoked on the mouthful of tea he had been swallowing
“exuse me?” he said, trying not to sound too shoked
“i asked him to fill the defense posin,” mgonagall ontinued, seemingly oblius to drao’s shok
“right,” drao nodded the feeling began to leah from his hands, whih seemed to be his body’s go to rean to anything potter he set down his mug
“i only warn you beause, as you know, potter has an affinity for snooping and sneaking about, and i am not sure he’s grown out of it you must be areful at night disillun yourself until you are out on the grounds, and maybe even while you’re walking about, unless you’ve hanged,” she ontinued
drao nodded
“you’ll likely have to stop your work in the kithens he likes to take his meals there oanally, if memory serves me right,” she added
“just tell him not to ome between five and seven in the m,” drao asked, hoping it didn’t sound too desperate he liked the kithen, and he liked the elves they were, afterall, the losest thing he had to friends
“i an hardly make a rule that speifi, mr malfoy, espeially sine mr potter seems to think rules are made to be broken,” mgonagall replied
drao snorted
“he’s not been well, malfoy,” she added
“how do you mean?”
not sik surely, he would have read it somewhere if he was sik even if they wanted to keep it under s, one of the less reliable gossip magazines would have gotten a hold of it an
